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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Embarrassment "It's A Good Thing"

Years ago B.C. and I were at a rather attractive couples house for what I thought was a meal. When the hostess passed me another hor'dourve I said, " O, no more for me, I won't have room for dinner" . Dead silence in the room, everyone turns and looks. I am so sorry said the hostess, did you think we were having dinner? I could feel B.C.'s laughing eyes on me and I wanted to hide under my chair. B.C. said later - no pots on the stove should have been your first clue. Well any way yesterday I made a blunder right up there , maybe number two in my life. It goes like this.
B.C. and I were in Home Depot picking up a few supplies for our contractor. Finished shopping B.C. decides to use the self checkout line. If you know B.C. you realize his patients are slim and none. After the two 12' long vinyl j channels that were dancing all over would not scan he calls Chief (was that his real name?) over to help him. Problem handled he now tries to scan the second item , nothing. Maybe slamming it helps or moving it faster. Chief had to come back. Then it was the eight items he did not want to scan separately, again chief was back. This went on and on and on. Finally I crawled out of the store. At our next stop I waited in the car and as soon as B.C. walked away I called Michael. OK I said I have great material for you on Dad. Michael does a great routine about B.C. at drive thru fast food restaurants and how he orders, "I'll have a burger and fries, that's a burger with a coke, did you get the burger." When he checks out and receives sixteen burgers, it's always the idiot server. There is also another version on automated phone services. The louder you yell, the better they understand. It is not that we are being mean to B.C. , it is just good to see a family laugh together , and some of these stories are really funny. So any way, I continue to tell Michael all the details probably embellishing a bit and laughing as I talked. He did say huh a few times and I was confused, you know the comedy act you do about Dad, "huh", I just kept talking, and laughing. When I finished the voice on the other line said "are you done now" It was B.C. I had called him not Michael. OMG, OMG what do I do *!#$* I am crimson red, sweating dying, gasping for air. I did not want him to ever walk out of the store, never to face him again. I called Michael who just laughed and said, you are so stupid. Christine called and had to leave her exercise class she was laughing so hard. Then, there he was bigger than life at the car door. I am so sorry, sooooooooo sorry, it was just in fun we were only joking. I then realized why I married him, that he could laugh off my sometimes silly antics, and not make me feel like such a fool. It endeared him to me. I read a article in Martha Stewart's Living Sept. Embracing Embarrassment :This uncomfortable emotion might even make you a better person, it actually improves others opinions of us. It triggers acceptance, and approval on the part of the onlooker. The instinctive care we take to avoid embarrassment makes us more considerate and polite, more respectful. I sure was nicer to Bill last night, and I felt a little closer. So I am going to realize how useful embarrassment is and shake it off with a laugh or shrug. I think at the next family dinner the joke will be on me.

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